If I Should Die Before I Wake
by IvyFaerie
Summary: (Post-Troy) Briseis stared at Paris, feeling her breath hitch in her throat as she tried to formulate a proper way to tell him. She nearly laughed when she realized…there was no proper way to tell a man that his cousin was pregnant with his enemy’s bab


**If I Should Die Before I Wake - Prologue**

_By IvyFaerie_

The wind blew fiercely against the trees, roughly whipping the branches back and forth, blowing leaves into oblivion. Some of the weaker branches snapped, flying freely into the forest, or possibly glancing off the sides of some wind-bitten tents clustered together in a small clearing. They looked like they were haphazardly put together and there were no signs of a fire anywhere in sight.

Perhaps it looked like there was no sign of life at all, except the tiny whimpering of horses tied to a nearby tree, and the low breathing of about a dozen or so occupants inside the beaten-looking homemade tents. They were the survivors of Troy, the grief-stricken, weather-weary remains of the people of the once grand city.

The Leader of this sad little party was none other than the now former Prince himself. He had saved as many as he could, including Helen, Andromache and her son, and Briseis. It had been terrible, leaving the city behind burning to ashes in the hands of Greeks. They had been walking for about a day when two boys of their ban of survivors came across two small horses. Paris had feared that the Greeks were patrolling the lands, but after quickly scanning the area, they discovered that the horses were just escaped horses that somehow miraculously, unbelievably, found their way out of the burning city. So they took the horses in as a sign of hope, and moved on.

They had spent many hard-driven days battling through harsh weather, cruel climate, and tricky forests. But thankfully the men of the group, including Paris, knew the land well enough and got them out of any too-tight spots. Finally, they came upon Mount Ida, and they had thanked Apollo for its bright weather while struggling through. After that, they had come across the Great Forest of Athena, which is where they abided now, walking long days through the wild wood.

Paris lay staring up at the top of his tent, listening to the wind howl against the trees. He thought about the long month that lay behind him after leaving the city, and sighed. How long was he supposed to keep this up? He glanced at Helen, who was sleeping silently beside him, her long blonde hair fanned out behind her. Even through the rough month, her beauty lay unfazed.

He then thought about his beloved city, his father, and his brother and he shut his eyes in pain. The grief still hounded him like a dog, just like the others in his small ban that he led. He could see in their faces everyday the pain of remembrance of their lost loved ones, and the sadness at the thought of their burned city. But, he was proud to note; they had plowed on, determined and hopeful of the future. So he had led them like they expected him to, with Helen at his side. Paris opened his eyes again, and smiled at his sleeping lover. He would lead them as best he could, and more. He closed his eyes, determination set in his mind. He fell into a soft slumber.

Only one person lay awake then. After lying still for a moment battling with her self, she maneuvered herself to stand up, and she pulled her thick wool cape around her shoulders. She stepped slowly out of her tent, glancing warily around the other tents, making sure her companions were asleep. She walked quickly and silently through the group of tents, taking special care to walk specifically silently by her cousin's tent. She stepped out of the clearing, and walked swiftly away from the group as she delved into the forest, her hair flowing behind her in a dark brown wisp of tangles.

Briseis stopped finally when she came to a river. She sat slowly on the bank, staring at the beauty of it. Athena was a beautiful forest, however wild it was, she thought. She reached a hand to her throat and fingered the delicate beads that lay there. She closed her eyes as she felt the familiar coolness of the pearls against her fingers. Her eyes snapped open again as a familiar face loomed in her minds-eye. No matter how hard she tried, she could not get away from him…and she wasn't all too sure if she even wanted to. She took a slow breath and gave into a memory that was fighting its way to the surface…

"_You gave me peace," he whispered, cupping her face, "in a lifetime of war." Briseis felt the tears fall down her face as she reached out to him, feeling her lips tremble, and traced his chin. "Go," he said, closing his eyes at the feel of her fingers on his face._

"_No…no," She whimpered, lacing her fingers through his golden hair. He wiped away her tears with his thumbs, and pulled her face to him. He kissed her slowly, and she barely managed to kiss him back, as tears still spilled down her cheeks. He pulled away and said, "Troy has fallen. You must go." _

Briseis let out a small sob, remembering the tenderness Achilles had shown her in their last moments together. He was dying, and there was nothing she could do. She…she loved him. She knew it was wrong, and yet she did.

Briseis sighed. She reached out slowly and felt the cool water of the river push gently against her fingers. She would be living with the memory of Achilles for the rest of her life, and she couldn't get away from him even if she wanted to. She knew that.

Briseis slowly got to her feet, and caressed her slightly rounded stomach. Yes, she thought, she would never be able to forget him. She would have to tell Paris in the morning.

"What is it, Briseis?"

Briseis stared at Paris, feeling her breath hitch in her throat as she tried to formulate a proper way to tell him. She nearly laughed when she realized…there _was_ no proper way to tell a man that his cousin was pregnant with his enemy's baby.

"_Brisies?_ What's the matter?" Paris's concerned voice cut through her thoughts and she breathed a shuddering sigh.

"There is—there is something I must tell you."

Paris stared at her anxiously. He reached toward her, but she waved him off, dread sinking into her stomach. "I—I have been keeping something from you Paris, and…I'm afraid that you'll—you'll…" She broke off and unconsciously put a hand to her stomach.

Paris's eyes widened with suspicion. "What are you telling me?" He demanded.

Briseis squeezed her eyes shut, telling herself that she could do this. "I'm pregnant," she whispered finally.

Briseis kept her eyes shut tightly, afraid to see the look on his face. There was a long pause, broken only by the sounds of the camp moving about. Paris was silent. Too silent, she thought, shakily.

She opened her eyes, terrified, and stared at him. Paris had a blank, if not woebegone look on his face. He seemed to not have comprehended what she had said.

"Paris? I—did you hear me?" She whispered throatily, staring at him with wide, fearful eyes. Her throat closed up, and she had to fight the impulse to run away.

All at once, Paris seemed to snap out of the trance-like state he was in. He gave a breathless, disbelieving laugh, and shook his head. Briseis pursed her lips, gazing at him solemnly, almost begging him not to reprimand her. She _needed_ his support for this…there was no way she could do this alone.

He finally said, disbelievingly, "Impossible."

Briseis stared up at her cousin's face. "No," she whispered, turning her face away, "it's not. I'm sorry, Paris." She paused for a moment, before she turned to him again and pinned him with her gaze. Although the guilt tore at her insides for the pain she was causing him, she was determined.

"_He's_ the father, isn't he?"

With a sharp intake of breath, she froze. She knew this would come up somewhere along the line…but any mention of Achilles still made her mind freeze.

Paris gave her an unreadable look, and sighed tiredly. "I will have to think on this, Briseis," he muttered.

"Paris…whether you think on this or not, I am going to have this baby," she murmured quietly.

He didn't answer her, but only continued to stare at her, almost glower at her. Finally he turned and walked away, his face untathimable. Briseis watched him bleakly as he strode into the forest, away from the fray of commotion surrounding them.

Briseis bowed her head, and squeezed her eyes shut for a moment. She would have to get him to understand somehow.

"B-Briseis…"

Briseis's head snapped up, and she whirled around to find Andromache standing a few feet away, staring at her with wide, shocked eyes. "Did you hear?" Briseis whispered, startled. She had not intended to tell Andromache until she had Paris's support—which seemed by now rather pointless.

Andromache nodded slowly, a dawning look appearing on her face. "Is…is it true?" She asked faintly, her hands clasped tightly in front of her.

Briseis let out a shaky sigh, and nodded. What was the point, now, of keeping it from her?

Andromache bowed her head, her long dark hair obscuring her face. Briseis let her arms fall limply at her side as a feeling of grave resignation settled over her.

Not knowing what else to do,Briseis quickly grasped Andromache's hands and gasped out,"I'm—so sorry, but I must do this, I _have_ to do this, I _loved _him, and there is no way that I,"

"I know."

Briseis stopped abruptly as the soft words filled with such understanding and empathy filled her ears. Briseis's mind went completely numb. There was no way—_no possible way_that this woman could—no, she had the _right_ to be angry with her for the rest of their lives. She should have never been able to forgive her…and yet she did, it seemed. Through it all, through everything, Andromache was able to do what Briseis never would have fathomed in her right mind. She _forgave_ her.

"W-Why?" Briseis said and her voice cracked, wondering if this all was a dream. "A-After all I've done, I thought that you'd—,"

"No." Andromache held up a hand, cutting off whatever Briseis was about to say. She gave the younger girl a small smile. "I cannot change what happened, and neither can you. It is…" she paused for a moment, and sighed, somewhat sadly, "the will of the gods."

"So your not angry?" Briseis whispered, "Your not—your not—?"

Andromache looked past her for a moment before she returned her gaze to Briseis. "Whatever happened between you and Achilles," Briseis felt that expected wave of numbness, "was yours alone. I'm—I'm not going to be angry with you for something that was not your fault," she whispered sadly, a faraway look in her eyes.

Briseis felt a lump in her throat swell up, and she tried to stifle it…but, startled, Briseis realized she was already crying. "Andromache," Briseis whispered as she wrapped her arms around the older woman. "I don't deserve your kindness…I cannot…I don't know how I…" Briseis trailed off and laughed shakily, wondering how in the world shecame to knowsomeone as good as Andromache.

Andromache embraced her tightly. "Briseis? Our children will end up having to grow up together...what's the use of fighting parent's in such close proximity?"

Briseis pulled back slightly. "If it is a girl…they would be eligible to marry!" She exclaimed, startled at the irony.

"Yes," Andromache mused humorously, glancing at something behind Briseis, "that's true."

Briseis glanced behind her, also, and felt the curious sensation as if she was dreaming again."Paris!" Had he been there the whole time? Did he hear? Briseis watched his profile closely, noting his carefully blank expression and straight back, like he was preparing himself to say something important.

Briseis took a cautious step forward, and watched his face tighten a little. "I suppose I will leave you two, then. Shall I inform Helen that you'll be with her in a moment, Paris?" Andromache asked softly.

"Yes." Came Paris's curt reply.

"Very well," Andromache said in that same soft voice, inclined her head, and disappeared silently into a tent closeby.

Briseis turned towards Paris apprehensively. Before she could think of a way to break the silence, Paris narrowed his eyes at her.

"I know you cannot change what happened between you and…_him," _Paris started, and Briseis bit her lip, "and you probably wouldn't even if you had the chance."

Briseis stared at her own tightly clasped hands.

"I should not even think of forgiving you! The Gods' know that you don't deserve it, and I do too," Paris said bitterly. "But…" he continued slowly, his pensive look dissolving suddenly, "Andromache…she has forgiven you without even a thought…and I don't see why I shouldn't—," He broke off suddenly and took and deep breath. "Is it to be a girl or a boy?"

"What?" Briseis murmured, feeling dazed. Was he really saying…?

"Your child?" Paris said, looking pointedly at her slightly rounded belly. Briseis and put hand on her stomach and smiled faintly at her handsome cousin.

"It is too early to tell…"

"Oh."

Briseis bit her lip again, hardly able to believe that this man had just forgiven her for something she didn't think he would ever be able to. Oh yes, she had hoped for it, but she'd thought it would take a lot more convincing, and maybe even a bit of shouting. But, thanks to Andromache…everything had worked out. She would never be able to repay Andromache for what she had done…She tossed around an idea that she thought that Andromache might enjoy...she smiled ruefully to herself.

Before Briseis could contemplate it further, Paris spoke again.

"I…I suppose I should inform the camp," he said awkwardly.

"Yes, I suppose…" Briseis paused and bit the inside of her lip. "Paris?"

Paris looked up at her with unreadable eyes. "Yes?"

Before Briseis could think about it further, she stepped up to him and took his hand. "You are…" Briseis paused, groping for the right word, "amazing." That was an understatement, she thought as she watched his cheeks redden. "Thank you, cousin...you have no idea what this means to me."

Paris smiled, gaining some of his old charm back. "Don't mention it, beloved cousin. I wonder what Helen will say about you having a child?"

Briseis smiled at his light tone, and tugged him towards the tent Paris shared with Helen. "She'll probably be outraged that I've gotten pregnant before she did." Briseis chuckled at his startled face. It was so easy to joke with him…somehow joking with Paris made things all right again. Not everything, she thought, concrete, but most things.

"Go on, Paris," Briseis laughed, and pushed him inside his tent. He went in with a peculiar look on his face. Briseis smirked, wondering what would become of her little suggestion.

"What are you smirking about, Briseis? Have you done something wicked?" Andromache said happily, coming to stand next to Briseis at the edge of the camp. Briseis was watching the noisy camp without really seeing them, but who were currently packing up all their belongings for the days' journey. Andromache's son was curled up in her arms, fast asleep, his little hands wrapped around the small green pendant around Andromache's neck.

"You've nothing to worry about, Andromache." Briseis replied, grinning.

The older woman gave the girl a rather measured look. "I'm sure."

Changing the subject quickly, Briseis crooned, "How's little Ast?" Andromache dropped her suspicious look quickly as she smiled softly down at her son. "Astyanax is wonderful, but I wish you wouldn't call him that."

Briseis grinned as she turned her eyes back on her people. "It's inevitable, Andromache."

Andromache gave her a rather odd look, but Briseis wasn't paying attention. Yes, she mused thoughtfully, rubbing her belly slightly and thinking of something entirely different. Some things are just inevitable.

**-**

**Diclaimer: **I do not own _"Troy"_ or _"The Iliad."_ I only own anything you do not recognize.

**Authors Note: **This story is based off of the movie, not the book, since I have not read the book. So anything that just happens to be _from_ the book, it is clearly unintentional. Also, thank you everyone who has informed me of Astyanax's name : ). This is going to be a large story, possibly 10-12 chapters long...it is going to be a action/adventure with Briseis's son/daughter and Hector's and Andromache's son. I suppose that is all the backround you need for now...

Thanks, and please review. -IvyFaerie


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